Momfluencer Mindfulness

photography by Shannon McDonald at my beloved Bryn Mawr College

Instead of an advent @Jess-Honig via Instagram this month – I’m gifting the people 25 Days of Mindfulness.

Ah, Mindfulness…What is it anyhow?

Ask a dozen practitioners and you may get a dozen different definitions.

To me…

Mindfulness is awareness of various forces (circumstances, outlook, physicality) in the present moment with a discipline to focus on and follow through on the most productive angles.

Mindfulness is a quieting of volume on the past regrets, future what-ifs – a practice of being here, best influencing your now. Anchored, via our senses:

I see

I hear

I taste

I touch

I smell

I read a powerful Op-ed this weekend (11/27/22 Sunday Times) by Jessica Grose, unfortunately for me no relationship to myself as a Jessica Honig-Gross. Close but no cigar. The title: The Toxic Perfection of Momfluencers

It hit home.

Mostly, it hit at the heart of my own budding self-consciousness and budding social media platform as a budding writer. I’m aiming to grow professionally. But I worry about the ways and pace at which I grow. Might this be at the expense of mindful integrity?

I hope not.

Yet, I am guilty of glossy branding shots with my amazing daughter. I am guilty of selling things.

But what I aim to do, as my own dear literary agent (Bethany Jett) reminds me – sell what is true to you.

I sell ideas.

Bethany also said, “Don’t think so much of marketing yourself,” and thank goodness since that idea gives me hives. “Ask yourself, how may I serve others?”

That concept has made all the difference to me.

This month and always – I aim to serve mom’s like me (with a ton on their own plate, trying to feed their children equal doses of love and compassion). I aim to serve fellow CPTSDERS to keep it real and keep it as grounded as possible, maybe even sparked with joy. I aim to do this with an authentic use of self.

I get Direct Messages (DM’s) to be sponsored for teeth whiteners and anti-frizz creams.

I get DM’s to try and promo teeth straighteners. A besty asks me what will I do about my streak of gray?

I think I’d rather continue to reveal my organic self that I’m quite comfy with.

I’ll leave you with a bold quote from the Opinion Piece by Jessica Grose:

…there’s one takeaway from my reporting on the sociology of American motherhood, it’s that the ideals as they are created may serve industry but they do not serve us or our families.”

Jessica Grose, NYT Op Ed, 11.27.22

Yes, I am guilty of selling something.

I sell ideas.

At this point, they are pretty much free.

A deal, on sale and down from two-cents.

I sell the idea of being more comfortable with oneself; living our core values at a slower, simplified pace.

I am comfortable with myself these days.

Hope you are too.

After all, like the mindfulness that I pitch – being, the act of being, may just be the most priceless, precious, vital way to be.

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